14 Mar 2010

The Identity Crisis Shoe

Style Cramp has conducted a survey on kitten heels. Ok so it was on Facebook and therefore only has speculative merit, I suppose, but I asked real girls who gave me real answers.

This emerged from an increasing number of fashion journalists and bloggers declaring the return of the dreaded shoe for Spring 2010. To quote my teenage sister who rang me specifically to ask:

"don't the sight of kitten heels make you vomit?"

See, I am embracing a return to the '90s, but kitten heels I will not indulge. I have been very much enjoying the velvet (not quite as much as the first time around when it was the only fabric of choice for disco dresses with a two-tone skate skirt), and I am wearing DMs right now. I lament the years between the time I threw out my worn in originals and forked out for new, dorkishly shiny ones. I will even let it pass that bodies remind me of mum who wouldn't wear knickers with hers, but KITTEN HEELS? Non! Kitten heels are the crisis identity of shoes.

Stuck somewhere in the middle of platform and pump, if they had a personality (they don't!), it would be gawky and apprehensive. They want to be a heel but they also think they're a flat. They're neither! Classified as an option for women who want to wear skyscrapers but can't handle them, they have the temerity to be as uncomfortable as their lofty counterparts, while making you waddle like a constipated duck.

An overwhelming yuk from the survey takers:

"Pointless, pointless, created by heel addicts who can't admit that they'd rather have been wearing heels all along." -- Amen, sister!

"Unsightly." -- To the point.

"Horrid, horrible things that do nothing for your posture or your legs." -- Ain't that the truth!

Vanity St Cyr

Images from Style.com


  1. I will consider a mid-height cone heel or even - gasp! - low wedge, but not a traditional 'inverse wineglass' shape. Too 90s try-hard working mum, too Blair's Babe...

  2. Also whats all this about socks with your shoes... bit much, I wont be doing that. I would like some nude shoes tho, go with the whole nude/pastels thing, any suggestions

  3. Low wedge is def fine in my opinion! There's just something about the height of a narrow kitten heel that does weird things to your legs, I think.

    Plus, for nude, watch out for a shoot stylecramp are doing soon on nude looks! And i'm quite a fan of socks at the mo, i've been looking out for bobby socks to wear with my brogues, but other than £6 a pair in Urban Outfitters, I can only find them on fetish websites...!