Style Cramp: The Great May Masked Ball 2010

All the world old is queer save thee and me, and even thou art a little queer.

-- Robert Owen

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Style Cramp were under-dressed this week (or over, in fact) at The Great May Masked Ball at Debut in London Bridge. We went more on a whim than anything, and fully did not prepare, so we were severely disappointed at the lack of effort we appeared to have made, considering some of the ridiculous outfits that hang much-loved but unworn on the picture rails in our room. We stuck some old sequins on the side of a plain black eye mask and put on our highest most painful platform heels. Housemate went in a frog mask.

It was something of a decadent and debauched affair to say the least. In the queue outside the venue, a huge series of interlocking rooms under London Bridge station, we began to feel very ashamed of our lack of theatrical flair, but we were there now, so we could only admire the unique choices of costume. There were dandys, fops and executioners, and those were only the ones who'd gone for an 18th century masquerade theme. Many went the fetish route, but there was less cock rings than might be expected. Most had chosen detail over nudity. Apart from this gentlemen, who practically had to beg girls to 'tug his leash':

Girls in teeny thongs and bras, with HOT bods, walked their man friends behind them before engaging in some, frankly quite engrossing sensual behaviour! I'm not a pervert, but it really was quite a site. I did regret eating some brie which had been smooshed by the heat of the four naked bodies writhing on the food table, which was filled with all the succulent delights you might expect on Caligula's dinner table. But, you know, I was embracing the mood of the evening. As was the guy who was pashing a whole cauliflower.

Sadly, and this is becoming a sorry habit, we did not have a camera, but there is a fantastic gallery here which captures the mood.

I also didn't get to ride the naked girl rodeo, as we left at 1pm with severe foot ache from our beautiful stupid shoes. By the time someone asked me the way to the hot tubs on the way out, I could barely stand.

I loved the Death Jazz band. Kid Page needs to expand her mind.